Katy looked at her alarm clock, 2:30 am. She had been trying to fall asleep for four hours now – and had tried just about everything from reading the dictionary, to meditation, to counting sheep. Nothing worked – it rarely did.
"Screw this," she mumbled as she rolled out of bed, "I'm going on a drive."
Despite living alone, Katy still tiptoed across her room as she went to grab her faded blue sweatshirt and her purse. As she headed for the door, she realized she had no idea where she would go, but something was telling her to just get out and drive. She drove for two hours. At first she drove with the windows down, and the music blaring, the noise helped block out the millions of thoughts going through her head. But then she turned the music off and let her thoughts consume her. Like why she was still with her dead-beat boyfriend and how much she hated her current job. She had worked hard through high school and college and done well, but lately life just wasn't what she thought it would be. She had stopped meeting up with friends in order to hang out more with Bobby – who usually just ended up getting drunk and yelling at her. And when Bobby was out of town, she would at work late to avoid her friend's advice that he was bad news. But she barely had enough work during the day to keep her busy, so often times, she wasn't even working during those late hours. She would wait until everyone else had gone home and then cry. She couldn't cry at her apartment – what if her neighbors heard, or a friend stopped by? It was easier to just cry when she knew no one else would hear or see her. That way she wouldn't have to admit how lost she felt.
Suddenly Katy's thoughts were interrupted as she focused on something in the distance.
"Is that a….staircase…in the middle of a field?"
She slammed on the brakes and got out of the car. This, she had to see. It was still dark out, and the only sound was that of her feet hitting the ground as she made her way to the staircase.
"This is unbelievable" she thought. "How come I haven't seen this here before?"
Katy stood at the bottom of the staircase for a good five minutes, before carefully placing her right foot on the bottom step.
"What the hell? It can't hurt."
She took one last look around her, she wouldn't want anyone calling the cops on the crazy girl at the top of the staircase in the middle of the field, and then started to climb. From the ground the staircase hadn't looked more than one story tall, but Katy felt like she was climbing forever. She was practically gasping for air as she reached the top.
"Geesh, I need to get back in the gym" she thought as she sat down, her feet dangling over the field below her. She reached into her sweatshirt pocket and pulled out a mangled cigarette and matches. She coughed with her first puff, and immediately put out the cigarette. It was a bad habit that she had picked up from Bobby, and one she hated.
"Disgusting" she mumbled as a tear rolled down her cheek, "just disgusting." She sat there in silence for five minutes, looking straight down as her tears dropped to the ground beneath her.
Then she did something she rarely did, she squeezed her eyes shut, clasped her hands together and she prayed. It had been so long she wasn't sure quite what to say, but she knew she needed help. She didn't ask for answers or for life to suddenly be perfect, she asked for the strength to move forward. And as she stood up she opened her eyes and looked out upon the fields in front of her. Suddenly the black, barren fields ahead had color and were unlike anything she had ever seen before. She saw several forking roads; some with hills and rocky paths, but at the end of every road was something beautiful. From the top of the stairs to nowhere, she felt like she was standing on the top of the world and from there she could see the world of endless possibilities that lay ahead of her. For the first time in years, she felt empowered, and as she climbed back down the stairs and got back into her car, she didn't look back. She knew that what she had seen at the top of the stairs would be gone, it was in her heart now, and she didn't have time to look back, the world was waiting for her.
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